34 Parenting Rules that You Won't Find in a Book

1. If a milk-filled sippy cup is lost, drop everything and find it.

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2 Never, ever leave a sharpie unattended.

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3 Always assume it's poop.

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 If it's annoying at the store, it will be even more so at home.

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5 Never serve rice (or shredded cheese or crackers) if you've just vacuumed the floor.

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6 If he loves a certain food today, the same may not hold true for tomorrow.

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7 The moment one child smiles is always the same moment another one blinks.

Source: Flickr user abbybatchelder

8 Locking the door is much easier than explaining what Mommy and Daddy are doing behind it.

Source: Flickr user littlebiglens

9 Put folded laundry away immediately — it's easier than refolding it.

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10 The later you go to bed at night, the earlier your child will wake up in the morning.

Source: Flickr user Jundy Tiu

11 Always carry lollipops.

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12 Don't expect your child to take you seriously when you say, "Just this once."

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13 Always kiss a boo-boo (even if there is no mark).

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14 Never leave scissors accessible.

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15 The moment you've realized your child has been quiet is a moment too late.

Source: Instagram user macie_day

16 "The Clean-Up Song" only works with one percent of children.

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17 Traveling spouses and sick tots go hand in hand.

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18 When your child says he "feels sick," you have 1.6 seconds to jump to action.

Source: Instagram user bigpapa_chef

19 The day you leave without any extra diapers is the day you will need them the most.

Source: Flickr user Thorsten Trotzenberg

20 If you say something bad about someone, your toddler will find an opportunity to tell that person.

Source: Flickr user Simon Blackley

21 When it comes to your children, googling "it" never helps.

Source: Flickr user Ray_from_LA

22 Your child's nasty cold will magically cure itself as soon as he steps into the doc's office.

Source: Flickr user Brett Neilson

23 Always pretend to eat the play food your child hands you.

Source: Flickr user abbamouse

24 As far as birthdays are concerned, there must always be cake.

Source: Instagram user cakesbyveda

25 Just because she refuses to try going potty doesn't mean she doesn't have to go.

Source: Flickr user Fairy Heart ♥

26 More Cheerios will end up on the floor than in their bellies.

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27 The later you are for something, the slower your kids will move.

Source: Flickr user Michael Newton

28 The pricier the purchase, the greater likelihood it will get lost.

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29 Never wear white after having children.

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30 If you need to run to the store really quick, don't bring your child.

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Source: Flickr user jlarnos

31 Spend more for fun shapes — they taste better.

Source: Flickr user Bexx Brown-Spinelli

32 Bunk beds are great in theory and bad in reality.

Source: Flickr user {just jennifer}

33 "Five more minutes" means anything but five more minutes.

Source: Flickr user David Goehring

34 The minute you figure parenting out, everything changes.

Never, ever leave a sharpie unattended.

Source: Instagram user amy_magpie