34 Parenting Rules that You Won't Find in a Book

1. If a milk-filled sippy cup is lost, drop everything and find it.

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2 Never, ever leave a sharpie unattended.

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3 Always assume it's poop.

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 If it's annoying at the store, it will be even more so at home.

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5 Never serve rice (or shredded cheese or crackers) if you've just vacuumed the floor.

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6 If he loves a certain food today, the same may not hold true for tomorrow.

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7 The moment one child smiles is always the same moment another one blinks.

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8 Locking the door is much easier than explaining what Mommy and Daddy are doing behind it.

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9 Put folded laundry away immediately — it's easier than refolding it.

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10 The later you go to bed at night, the earlier your child will wake up in the morning.

Source: Flickr user Jundy Tiu

11 Always carry lollipops.

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12 Don't expect your child to take you seriously when you say, "Just this once."

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13 Always kiss a boo-boo (even if there is no mark).

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14 Never leave scissors accessible.

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15 The moment you've realized your child has been quiet is a moment too late.

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16 "The Clean-Up Song" only works with one percent of children.

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17 Traveling spouses and sick tots go hand in hand.

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18 When your child says he "feels sick," you have 1.6 seconds to jump to action.

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19 The day you leave without any extra diapers is the day you will need them the most.

Source: Flickr user Thorsten Trotzenberg

20 If you say something bad about someone, your toddler will find an opportunity to tell that person.

Source: Flickr user Simon Blackley

21 When it comes to your children, googling "it" never helps.

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22 Your child's nasty cold will magically cure itself as soon as he steps into the doc's office.

Source: Flickr user Brett Neilson

23 Always pretend to eat the play food your child hands you.

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24 As far as birthdays are concerned, there must always be cake.

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25 Just because she refuses to try going potty doesn't mean she doesn't have to go.

Source: Flickr user Fairy Heart ♥

26 More Cheerios will end up on the floor than in their bellies.

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27 The later you are for something, the slower your kids will move.

Source: Flickr user Michael Newton

28 The pricier the purchase, the greater likelihood it will get lost.

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29 Never wear white after having children.

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30 If you need to run to the store really quick, don't bring your child.

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31 Spend more for fun shapes — they taste better.

Source: Flickr user Bexx Brown-Spinelli

32 Bunk beds are great in theory and bad in reality.

Source: Flickr user {just jennifer}

33 "Five more minutes" means anything but five more minutes.

Source: Flickr user David Goehring

34 The minute you figure parenting out, everything changes.

Never, ever leave a sharpie unattended.

Source: Instagram user amy_magpie

Why having more sex is important for parents

Most people will resolve to eat better, exercise, and stay health conscious for 2015. It's pretty much the same spiel each year. Most of us know that going to McDonald's for a Big Mac is not a great choice for our bodies and that we would be better off eating veggies and lean proteins, so there's no need to beat a dead horse.

 
What most people don't think about though is how important it is to have more sex with their partners. Why? Well, some people get all red in the face when you start a conversation with them about sex. Some people may think that if someone is open to sexual conversation, perhaps that woman or man is "loose," but in my opinion, those people are missing out. Then again, I'm the girl who wrote two songs about ovarian and sperm function (proper words were used in all verses — no potty words!) for her middle school sex education teacher, fondly known as "Banana Boobs" by the kids.
I am so sorry Banana Boobs for calling you that behind your back.
You don't have to be one inch kinky and could even prefer sex in the missionary position each time, and having more sex would still be crucial for you and your relationship in 2015. Here's why:

• Closeness Begets Closeness: You may be too tired tonight to "do it," but chances are since you're a parent, you will be tired again tomorrow. You will be tired, burnt-out, and stressed for potentially quite a long time. If you keep pushing off until you're more awake to have sex with your partner, you may not have someone to have sex with. It sounds crazy, but I've seen it happen. The more intimacy in your relationship and the more touching, the more the two of you are reinforcing your bond and commitment to one another. Think about when you first had your child/children. All the bonding — snuggling, bottle feeds, nursing, cosleeping, or just rocking that little one to sleep — helped you to form a bond with that child. Sex does the same thing for your relationship. It is a reminder of why you chose this person. It is a connection you have with no one else. When you have sex with your partner you're reminding that person, "Hey, I love you still." When one partner keeps rejecting the other partner sexually, it can be incredibly damaging to the partner's self-esteem and ultimately, the partnership. Do not become roommates because constant separateness and platonic activities create space between two people. This doesn't mean you have to be up each other's butts in order to stay together but that getting physical keeps the love alive.
• The First Relationship: Without this marriage or partnership, you wouldn't have the title of mom (in most cases — obviously you may have had kids with another partner). And while being a mother is an extremely honorable and important role, you were also at one time just a partner. Don't forget the first relationship because if you do — which you probably will at some point during these early childhood years — your marriage or partnership will suffer. If the parents are not OK, the children will not be OK. 

• You two are both setting the stage for what your children's future relationships will look like in so many ways. Take time for each other and don't feel like a bad mother when you do so. Being a good wife or partner is just part of your new job description as mom. Don't ever feel bad for wanting time alone with your partner. If you start to feel like you could care less if you ever spend a single minute with your main squeeze, it's time to start thinking about why you feel this way, and perhaps maybe it's time to separate or see a counselor together.
• It's Good For You: Sex is good for you, as long as you're not doing it with everyone on the planet or making the nasty with a toxic person. It helps you sleep better — what mom couldn't use that? — relaxes you, burns some calories (how about that, 2015 diet?), and is fun! We often admire children because they're capable of finding joy and fun in small things. Each day consists of play. Just because you pay taxes, make lunches, and probably help wipe someone's butt, that doesn't mean you shouldn't play. Sex is the adult playground. It's fun! With sex, you can reverse your everyday life roles. Are you a type-A person? Perhaps sexually, you can be submissive. Are you an introvert by day? Maybe you can get your freak on during role-play, dirty talk, or a wee bit of S&M at night. Fifty Shades, perhaps? When you have a partner you love and trust, sex is a safe place to let loose and have fun, and having fun keeps you younger and healthier. See? More sex = younger = healthier!
  
   
  
  
  • People Evolve: While for the most part people don't change, as much as we think we know everything about our partners, we really don't know every detail. Having sex together is a moment to learn something new about each other, and that's a good thing!
  • Our Self-Esteem: Having more sex will help you feel better about yourself — even sexier. All of the hormones involved in sex won't just make you feel more bonded to your mate, but they will also flood your body with those positive feelings. It's why people often call love a "drug." It feels good and comes without side effects!

  How to Make This "More Sex" Happen

  OK, so now that I've sold you on why you should get intimate more frequently with your partner, you're probably wondering how that's supposed to happen. Here are my tips and solutions:
  
• To the Lazy Partner: Are you the parent who does everything? Are your kids up your you-know-what? If you're the "go-to" parent and your partner is looking for more sex, it's time to lay it on the line. Tell your partner, "You want me to have energy for sex, yet the kids are constantly coming to me for everything. I'm drained. I really need your help." Asking for more help — especially at the end of the night when a couple may have more time to "get it on" — will get that sexy train back on track. It's draining to constantly have the kids run to just you for each and every thing. Tell your partner to take on more of the workload, and perhaps you'll have that extra energy and mindset for letting your hair — and panties — down.
• The Physical Connection Substitute: Many women take the energy they originally had for their partner — physical and emotional — and put it into their kids. It's not that you have "sexual feelings" for your kids but that your physical drive is put into caring and tending to the little ones. It's not unusual for a mother to get a lot of joy and/or her needs of love and intensity met by her kids. I remember so fondly how great I felt when I nursed my daughter (minus those few bouts of mastitis). We bond so tightly with our little ones, and in the early years the kids are so bound to us physically that it just happens. Step back and try to put some energy into that once-abundant physical love you had for your partner. I guarantee that your partner needs it, you need it, and your relationship is begging for it.

 

• What If There's a Problem?: It's one thing to be too tired for sex occasionally, but if one or both of you has lost interest in sex completely, it's time to start looking at why this is happening. Maybe you're self-conscious about your weight, stressed about money, or perhaps in the grips of postpartum. Take mental inventory of what's going on with both of you, and if need be, talk to your doctor. Don't let this go on for too long.
• It Doesn't Have to Be the Titanic: Look, when you have kids, you have sex for 10 minutes if it's all the time you've got. Romance is great, but be practical. Sometimes you need that extra time to relax and get into it, and other times, you just gotta "bang" it out so to speak while little junior is taking a nap. Get creative. It's too bad there's not a Pinterest page for "sexual scenarios that can make a woman orgasm in three minutes while a child is watching Mickey Mouse."
• And Lastly, For the Partners: Help that mommy you love relax by doing something nice for her. Help her out more. Tell her she's pretty. Leave her a sexy text or note. Listen to her when she's talking. And most importantly, tell her to leave the lights on because to you, she's always beautiful!

Source: POPSUGAR  by Laura Lifshitz